It is not worth the strength and energy that is involved in being upset with someone or harboring feelings of resentment towards others. While I do not believe that you should be best friends forever with simple people that may have hurt you in the past or crossed you in the past I do believe that forgivenes s is the best recipe for us to move forward and grow and learn from the situation. It is possible to forgive someone and remove them from your life at the same time. Meaning, just because you may not be friends or relate with that person anymore doesn’t mean that you didn’t forgive them you just no longer wish to have them in your life. It is said that one should keep their enemies close. Although I do not know that this is always easy. The best thing to do in a situation when you feel you may be crossed comes from the one and only! Jay-Z.
“I keep my enemies close”
“I give them enough rope”
“they put themselves in the air”
“I just kick away the chair”
Most people that only have their best interest in mind and intend to cross you in the end will eventually hang themselves. Just sit back:
“Just waiting til you dig a hole big enough to put your whole body in”
If and when they cross you or hurt you to a point of no return you forgive them and then just … black list them so to speak. I do think that one should release and let go the harbored feelings that you may have towards people that may have crossed you. I forgive, but I won’t necessarily forget.
John F. Kennedy said:
“Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.”
Never forget their names. You keep that information in the back of your mind so that the next time your walking down that same dark alley you are more knowledgeable and careful. I forgive because they say stress is the kill all for our people. Stress causes tons of illnesses, mental and physical. Mind truly is over body. So rather than lose any sleep over anything that may have hurt me in the past I crumple it up like a piece of scratch paper and throw it in the trash! Forgiving individuals takes a lot of maturity. You have to be the bigger and definitely the stronger person and simply let it go. Not just any fool off the street can forgive someone and let go of the anguish involved with whatever was initially upsetting. When you forgive someone and leave it in your past know that you are being the bigger and stronger person.
“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” -Gandhi
So when you run into an individual that all they can do in their miserable little lonely existence is attempt to make your life miserable because they think in their little minds that you betrayed them. For example, for deciding to remove personal interaction with them from your life because you’ve determined they were toxic. Remember they are weak. For they cannot forgive.
When an individual goes down a dark alley and is mugged in the middle of the night by a crack head. The next time they’re walking down that dark alley they’re going to, or should, be a little more careful when they go down that way. This does not mean that the person has not gotten over what happened to them. It just means that they have learned from that mistake and are a little more knowledgeable this time around. If they hadn’t gotten over what happened to them they wouldn’t be walking alone at night at all. I think in order for me to be living my life as blissfully as I am these days I definitely am not harboring any feelings of anguish that could be holding me back in the present or the future.
People that deliberately hurt others lack a certain je ne sais quoi, but I’m sure it can be some how related to morals. I was taught to:
‘Do unto others as I would like others to do unto me.’
These individuals that only treat individuals that they stand to gain something from with courtesy and respect need healing.
For example as a friend I treat others how I would want to be treated. If I wouldn’t want something done to me I wouldn’t do it to them.
When I was a manager I managed the way I wanted others to manage me. I wouldn’t micro manage or treat my staff like lesser individuals because they worked for me. Great leaders do not hold grudges. They also treat everyone with the same level of respect.
It is really quite simple. Some people just do not think firsthand prior to doing things that may affect others. I would never knowingly do something to someone that I wouldn’t want them to do to me(period) end of sentence.
If you forgive your enemies or malicious people that have hurt you for no other reason then at least forgive them because:
“There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness.” –Josh Billings
Titles, assets, education, and fancy cars don’t make anyone anything more than a human.
At the end of the game …
the King and the pawn go into the same box.
Treat everyone with courtesy and respect. Not just the ones that you stand something to gain from.
With Love always from Miami,
Original blog posted to former blog jmariangela5.blogspot.com and jmariangela.blogspot.com on 9/23/2008.
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