I Yielded To The Knocks…

When I signed up for this no one could have ever told me that it would have started the first chapter of the rest of my life.

It started with innocent flirting, a kiss, and i didn’t realize that I would find all of this love.

When I signed up for this, no one ever told me it would be so hard.

The common ground is amazing, the level of communication is uncompromised and the mental and physical attraction for me is unprecedented.

This is what I have been waiting for my whole life.

Thus it is why I say the first chapter of the rest of my life.

Yet no one forewarned me that these few months away would rip my heart apart.

I see him and I am complete, I turn and walk away to depart for another long journey away and with every step I feel my soul being lashed vigorously as I throw myself to the floor to endure the pain.

I am here 3 days before we meet again and I cannot resist another day and I break down.

tears

I feel the tears rush down my face.

I close my eyes to try to wash it all away, but it is useless, this is it.

All of the tears that I had been holding back for all of the last months are here.

They are here now.

They arrived unannounced and uninvited.

Every other time they knocked on the door I ignored them like a Jehova’s witness.

Yet this time they barged right in through the front door.

They had their own key.

They were there urging me to succumb to their cause, to release all of the anguish that I had been harboring because of my undeniable longing.

And I did it.

I gave in.

I submersed myself in the rain that came down my face.

The only thing I can do in this, my moment of weakness is lay my head down and look at our picture on my nightstand.

I don’t get it, I couldn’t just be strong and keep them out for another 3 days?

Here I am longing for your warmth.

My lips are longing for yours, my hand looking for your hand to take mine in my sleep.

I roll over to feel you and awake to my cold bed.

And here I am.

I am here in my room.

I sit away lonely, awaiting to be with you again.

Re-blog from my former blog posted on 23 September 2008 jmariangela5 @ blogspot

Namaste.

With Love always from Miami,

giphy-7

-MJ

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